Good Evening / Morning.....
I don't like to speak about my personal stuff, but I think I should let you know I'm going through something. Something, I feel I should discuss with my readers, friends, critics, haters and see what advice, they have for me. I truly believed, its time people open up and express their thoughts about issues freely.
Relationships they say, have its up and downs. It might interest you to know, I have been in and out of it a couple of times and I still don't believe its true. The feeling to get attached to someone is always there but I often choose to remain adamant about the fact that, the same things will happen again, no matter what.
So, what at all is called; "crush"? Okay, what happens when someone gets a crush over another person? Does it necessarily have to do with the heart or its just some kind of stupid feeling that runs deep into your heart? What actually comes to mind about it?
I wrote a letter to love, I told it of the hurts and the pains it caused.
I would look love in the eyes and ask where Christ was, and how could love turn this way. I would question the emotion, the feeling , the you and me. Why the hold? Why the pain? Why all the rain?
I would look love in the eyes and question the reality and the issues I have claimed and embraced. You said, you love me but you ended up hurting me again, is that love?
Love, the damages of you have left me very cold. Blue, and Unemotional. Angry, and full of ridicule. I want to warm to you. But memories clog me, they surround me, stare at me and say don’t do it, remember me! You might get hurt again..
I say to love, just leave….I will be okay, but trust me, it wouldn't!
So, to answer you, yes, YOU. I know very well, you are shaking your head right now but don't freak out.. I am only answering you.. I am all you describe. I am this way, because loved ruin the new of me and you. The old of the past has caused me to hide and be cruel. It says to judge you, break you down, and leave.
But love has exceptions to the rule. And you might be that thing. A love, that holds true. Maybe the Christ I search for dwells in you. When I was with you, you changed a lot but the moment we went our separate ways, my old me came back.. Is this what love is?
If so, love be true. Hold on to me, understand me through this state. Understand, all the love I have instead of hate that I exhibit. Because I have inhibited hate that pretended to be love. And love is what I gave, instead all I felt was pain.
Return the favor, love hold me in your chamber. If you feel that its not for me, let it be. Yet, give me a chance, I can grow, and you can put flowers in my empty pot. Those seeds will produce the love that use to dwell in me.
Love remember me.