Interestingly, before writing out this post today, I have done a lot of research and had conversation with a lot of my married and bachelor friends on "sex before marriage". Those friends of mine are both men and women between ages 18 to 30.I asked each one of them one single question "Are you in favor of sex before marriage or pre-marital sex? The views they had given to me on this are really amazing. Every friend of mine has got a different view. Do you want to know what are their views after I had posted it on Facebook, on Monday, the 13th of July, 2009....???
My status reads; "How would you know, you're sexually attracted to your partner? And is sex before marriage the right decision?" Most of the responses that came were based on the "sex before marriage" issue.
Below are the comments passed by my friends on the status;
Safiya was so emotional about the status and therefore had this to say; "sometimes u wanna sample before u settle...but that doesn't mean you sleep with everyone you date" immediately, Tornam came in with; "When you go to Mechanical Lloyd to buy a car, you are given the option to test drive the BMW's before settling on one. Sex before marriage is important bro."
At this point, I realized some sense is been made but it wasn't until Enyonam, a very good friend of mine whom I used to work with at my former place had this also to say; ""I will not leave you as orphans, but I will ask the father and he will send you the Holy Spirit, He will lead you into all truth and teach you". "JESUS CHRIST...!!! Sex is not a BMW to be test driven..."
At that very moment, I just couldn't help it but just burst into uncontrolled laughter making my colleagues at my new workplace, looking at me in some fussy manner. I believe some would be wondering, “what in a h%^&@ is wrong with this lanky dude...?" hahahahah.. I just couldn't help it.
It wasn't long before Safiya came in reacting and attacking Enyonam with this; "How do you apply that scripture to sex and marriage?" Now, Enyonam have to proof his point clearly which made him come out again with; "the Holy Spirit is your GUIDE in EVERYTHING..."
I decided to give answers to everyone's post by just sampling a couple of my thoughts on each of their comments:
@ Tornam; I am really digging your point. Nice one made...!!
@ Enyonam; don't forget body no be firewood ooo [trans: the body is not a piece of firewood]. Lol
@ Safiya; please ask him again for me...
Enyonam couldn't help again, this time he had to quote the Bible to support his comment; "Quote Paul "but I beat my body and bring it into submission..." 1 Cor 9:27 (this is what we call SELF CONTROL - FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT)". At this point, I became a little spiritual so I decided to relax and see the counter comments as they come in...
Angelo said, "Yes, am a strong advocate for sex before marriage". Now, my dull self came back to life again. Whooooah, I got somebody to stir things again. I had this to say to him; "I'm with you brother. How on earth would you want me to buy a car or a dress without first testing/wearing it...?” How..???
Enyonam came i
n again and this time with CAPS with what really sent me to the floor; "I AM NOT A BELIEVER IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE AND I DO NOT THINK YOU CAN COMPARE IT TO BUYING A CAR! IN ANY CASE, WOMEN, DO YOU WANT TO BE TREATED BY YOU, A MAN LIKE A CAR FROM THE GARAGE...!”
My fellow blogger friend, Emmanuel who's the author of The Trials & Tribulations of a Freshly-Arrived Denizen...of Ghana , made a rather long comment. Here's what he had to say; "I wrote a long post, and it didn't come up, so let me make it brief: in theory, sex before marriage is wrong. In practice it's easier--and made so by the westernized culture where one night stands and "best friend with benefits" makes it easy to make a clear distinction between sex and love. In short, we've come to accept that having plenty sex is...
Read more; okay as long as you LOVE your chosen one. I think that's very dodgy for us guys who would love to "try" it with as many women as possible. Thing about trying though is that it might be the LAST time you try, considering STDs and whatnot! Even if STDs were not a problem, it's about choice between you and your partner to agree that "no sex till we get married" or if you're really sure, "occasional sex".
In my own experience, my first ex insisted no sex, so we only touched and kissed passionately.My second conceded to sex. There is no third ex, but my long-term girlfriend, who WILL be my wife. We agreed (though in my case reluctantly at first!)... [...continuing]...that since we've had some great and plenty sex, in order not to demean the beauty and importance of it in a structured relationship, let's refrain TILL we get married.
Now, here's someone I've been in a relationship with for some three and a half years; I am sure she's the one, but I cannot help but feel guilty as a Christian for not having waited for we got married at times...
This comment actually summarized everything I wanted hear and I even made him aware; "I'm really touched by his comment. It’s the best I've read since I started hearing from people on the subject... Nice one man but I still will go for sex before marriage...!!!
Eva; came in with what I was thinking of more like a personal attack on me from her. She commented; "Why won't you go for sex before marriage when nowadays we've put God's word aside and doing things our way? God have mercy on us."
I felt a rush in me to counter-comment after she fired that missile at me. I just started punching the keys on my keyboard as if I was attacked by hay-fever and was about to be rushed to the Pantang Hospital. I had this for her; " Eva; everybody's got his/her point of view. It’s a matter of expressing your view. When you want to follow the ways of God at times, it’s very hard but I believe all you can do is ENDURE.. But lemme ask you, how long can you endure...?? Would you tell me, you're a virgin at your age...?? Answer me plssss...!!!
At the mention of Endurance, Enyonam came in with this; "He who endures to the end, the same shall be saved' Matt 24:13 the end being MARRIAGE in this situation". Tornam couldn't help but had to let Enyonam know, "Massa I know a lady who decided to do this sex after marriage saga but when they got married she realized the guy is impotent. So if you don’t try how would you know? It would very painful for me to be a 26 year old virgin. Massa women sweet but make the right choice."
Enyonam wanted to show his Biblical prowess by quoting; "Mark 11:24 "what so ever you desire, when you pray, believing, you shall receive it." GOD IS STILL IN THE MIRACLE BUSINESS...
Audrey also commented saying; "Yeap. Lol" signaling her acceptance of the topic, "Sex before Marriage is RIGHT"...
Wasiu thought about the status as the most controversial and sent in this comment; "What a controversial question JD [Jordan], I think everybody has a reason to choose whatever option. Let’s don't forget that what the creator says is what will be used against man on the day of resurrection. That is not to say I obeyed.... May God forgive us all. I love the subject............[]
Well, well... All these said, I was thinking all was over until Ms. Safiya came in again with what I would say; the last judgment reading; " I don't think God is going to cast me into hell fire for having an intimate relationship with someone I love... We are spiritual being and need that intimacy. But then again, man created marriage as we know it today, biblical marriage was not the same thing soooooo...have the intimacy...but as I said...it doesn't mean you're a whore yourself or have go have sex with everybody and everything.. hahahahaha.!
At this point, I just couldn't help but just close and think of another controversial topic for today. But let me ask you, what you think of the topic been discussed: "Is sex before marriage the right decision..??"
You can read more on such controversial and debatable issues by visiting Esi Cleland and Nana A. Darkoa Sekyiamah's blogs. We are all part of the Ghana Blogging Group making our voices heard globally.
Your comments, ideas, feedbacks are humbly welcomed.
7 comments:
hahaha... sometime I think this is one of the most debated topics in Christian circles. Any true christian(not the frequent church goer type)will tell you that anytime you try to rationalize a situation with the Holy Spirit so that it goes in your favor, you are letting your flesh or worldly nature take over.
I always say the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak but I believe there is a reason why sex should be only in marriage. See whne you have sex with someone, believe it or not there is an exchange or tranfer of spirit. Ask anyone who has slept with multiple partners and they will tell you that yes, they do think about the other people they ahve slept with while they are with someone else.
To each their own, I guess. In biblical times, sex was synonymous with marriage. When Jewish folk performed their ceremony, they would wait outside of the tent of the couple and when they emerged, they were considered married. Marriage is awesome and sex in marriage does not mean you both become porn starts overnight! Practice makes perfect and it is a joy to experience new things together as a couple. You set yourself up for disappointments if you keep experimenting because you can not help but compare! Just my 2 cents:)
The Test Principle v The Wait-n-See Approach. There's no contest for me.
must say your personal experience is very interesting. how difficult is it for you and your long term girlfriend(wife to be) of 3yrs, to abstain after tasting the forbiden fruit
blueflower, if it's me you're talking about, yeah, well, it's a bit challenging for me! But for her, she's very capable of abstaining! Despite the fact that we touch each other in sensual ways, she can manage!
I think it is a trade-off issue. U could trade sex off till you get married.Just pray your man is GOOD enough for you. If not you just live with it for eternity. Have you seen "The Perfect Picture"?
@ Edward; Yes, I have seen the "Perfect Picture" movie. I learnt a couple of lessons from it. I got the inspiration of writing this post from what I actually learned. In this modern world, it would take about 5 out of 100 men to disagree with me on this issue. Its really going to be a big issue for me...
I am the only virgin I know. I do not support sex before marriage. I don't care if people do it before they are married, it is their business, but in my opinion (and experience...or lack there of...) I have not been in a situation where I wished I had taken the opportunity to sleep with a man, but I have A LOT of friends who wish they had NOT slept with someone. I do not think God will send you to the pits of hell but I want to be in his Grace, I don't want to disrespect him by putting my life in my hands, I put my life in his. I know that if I wait he will send me the man that I desire, I truly doubt that if you pray and believe and rely on His word for the perfect man, God will send you a castrated/impotent man with no sensuality...
This is a very good topic, and being that I am a very sexy 26 (soon to be 27 year old) virgin, I get a lot of flack sent my way, but how I live my life does not depend on the man I'm with or the friends I have, it depends on the God I serve and the woman I have chosen to be.
Fantasitc topic! =)
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